Feeling Stuck? Signs You Might Benefit from Couples Therapy
So what is couples therapy?
Couples therapy is a neutral, safe and supportive space where the therapist will help both partners be heard. So often, couples struggle to listen to what their partner is saying, and I hear it time and time again, that people just want to be heard. Couples therapy slows things down.
This process is also a wonderful opportunity to start to understand patterns and the breaks in communication, and learn new skills so that couples can handle situations on their own outside the therapy room. It’s important to note that couples therapy is not about blaming the other person, as there is very little solution in those instances. For many, the goal is to rebuild trust, and learn how to navigate the relationship and life as a team.
10 signs you might benefit from couples therapy
Arguments are becoming more common
Whether these are minor spats or escalated arguments, there’s clearly something going on underneath the surface that needs to be addressed. A therapist can help you identify emotional triggers and patterns that keep you stuck.
Communication could use a little help
Are there misunderstandings? Does it feel like every conversation turns into a fight? This is where a third person can slow things down, and allow one person to speak at a time to feel heard, understood and respected.
One partner might be emotionally withdrawing
This is a true sign that couples are disconnected. Emotional intimacy is a significant factor that helps bind the relationship and creates safety. A couples therapist will create the space to explore why the withdrawing is occurring and help rebuild closeness.
Physical intimacy is on the back burner
I don’t just mean sex. Physical intimacy can include any form of affection. Couples therapy can help you create the emotional safety in the relationship which can lead to more physical affection.
One or both partners breached trust
This could mean having an affair or even feeling like your partner didn’t show up for you the way you needed. Couple therapy is a great place to repair the relationship and learn how to move forward staying emotionally connected.
The worst..feeling lonely in your relationship even if you’re together
This one hits deep. It’s time to start exploring and uncovering what’s really going on because I bet you miss your partner!
That same fight keeps showing up
It’s probably confusing and annoying that you get caught in this cycle over and over, even though you try not to let it happen. There is a deeper pattern happening and sometimes it is so difficult to figure out what’s going on by yourselves.
Life changes are causing stress
New or loss of a job, everything involving children, moving or grief can greatly impact the dynamic. It can feel extra hard when you and your partner are not a team.
Financial stress is so overwhelming
Fear of finances might be putting a huge strain in the relationship and when a fear is present, it can be difficult to stay connected.
You’re thinking about separating or divorce
Feeling like you might be better off apart is a great sign it’s time to check out couples therapy. Even if you decide to separate, couples therapy can be a great support in helping you navigate this with clarity and compassion.
Now what?
After you’ve read through the reasons why people seek out couples therapy, the hope is that your partner will be on board too. It can feel scary to approach your partner with the idea of couples therapy but the goal is to talk about it from a place of love and care. You might say something like “I really miss you and I want to feel closer again. I think we’re having a difficult time doing this on our own. What do you think about attending couples therapy together?”
We all know that no relationship is perfect, but if you’re willing, it might need some TLC. Couples therapy can help you start having those tough conversations without the disconnection, and create that closeness you’ve been missing. If you notice any of these signs in your relationship and want the added support, it may be time to take that first step together.
